The Five Elements of Trust
“I just don’t trust you.” It’s a phrase we’ve all said (or at least thought), maybe even more than once this week. And once this thought enters our heads, it usually means poison for the relationship. While trust can be a complicated word to define, we’re all aware of what can happen in the absence of it: we don’t share honest feedback, we walk on eggshells, we don’t delegate work that should be delegated, we don’t ask for help, we spend energy wondering whether the other person will follow through, we worry if we will be cheated, we ruminate about what the other person is thinking, we rarely experience joy or a feeling of freedom in the presence of the other, we might even talk badly about that person behind their back, and ultimately, we don’t feel welcome to show up as our real selves.
On an organizational level, when trust breaks down, there is less willingness to speak up, less risk-taking, more turnover, less engagement, and less creativity. In our experience and as advanced by Patrick Lencione, trust is the single biggest indicator of healthy teams.
Because it can be painful and uncomfortable to deal with a situation in which there is a breakdown in trust, most of us keep our assessments of these situations at a superficial level (e.g., “I don’t trust you”) without getting into the nuance of why and how the trust has been broken. The problem with staying at a superficial level is that it doesn’t leave anyone with next steps that could be helpful in rebuilding the trust. Even if we think we know why we don’t trust somebody, our reasons can often be based on gut feelings and might be difficult to communicate in a grounded way. But if we can be clear with ourselves and eventually with the other person about the specific gap(s) in trust, then we have a starting point from which to work.
Based on our years of experience doing personal and professional development with organizations across industries and building on the work in The Trusted Advisor (Maister, Green, and Galford, 2000) and Slalom’s Trust Equation, there are five key elements of trust: Competence, Reliability, Authenticity, Empathy, and Intent. While these elements are not mutually exclusive nor completely exhaustive, and some elements wield bigger impact than others, we have personally found in our work that they are extremely helpful and really get at the essence of what makes for trust and how to increase it.
Although the language we use here is geared towards building trust in organizational settings, we find this framework just as powerful when adapted for use in personal settings.
In the following table, we present these five elements of trust along with three supporting statements for each element that will allow you to determine the extent to which you trust someone in that area. These supporting statements, when taken together, function as a practical definition for the corresponding element of trust.
To make use of the table, first think of a relationship in your life. Then give a score of 1 to 5 for each statement using the following scale:
1 = Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Neutral 4 = Agree 5 = Strongly Agree
Add up the three scores for each element in the "Element Subtotal” column. This number should be between 5 and 15. When all the subtotals are calculated, add the five subtotals together to get the total, which should be between 15 and 75.
While the total is certainly crucial (anything below a 57 in our view would indicate that there is something to work through), the subtotals are generally more illuminating as they point to gaps in specific elements of trust. Anything below 11 in the subtotals should be considered an area for which further work and/or discussion may be helpful.
While the total is certainly crucial (anything below a 57 in our view would indicate that there is something to work through), the subtotals are generally more illuminating as they point to gaps in specific elements of trust. Anything below 11 in the subtotals should be considered an area for which further work and/or discussion may be helpful.
In high-achievement oriented organizations, we often find that there is a lot of trust when it comes to Competence, but there is much more variability in the other four elements.
Conversations to Rebuild Trust
Once the specific gaps in trust are identified, a direct conversation may be helpful to directly address these gaps. In order to have as productive and two-sided of a conversation as possible, we recommend following this nine-step process:
Recognize that trust is a subjective experience
Convey your intent in having this conversation
Talk about what’s important to each of you that will enable you to engage in this conversation wholeheartedly
Start with what you trust about the person as a foundation for the conversation (using the elements of trust)
Take responsibility for your experience in any elements where you’re lacking trust
Share examples of behaviors you’ve observed and their effect on your trust
Give space for the person to reflect back what they heard, clarify any questions, and respond with their experience
Reverse roles and repeat steps 4-7 from the other person’s perspective
Establish one or two specific actions you each will commit to doing to cultivate more trust in the relationship
In Summary
While trust can sometimes feel like an amorphous concept, the ability to get clarity about what is really going on in a nuanced way allows us to more effectively work through situations where there are gaps in trust. Although it can be tempting to write people off when trust is broken, the future of our organizations and our relationships depend on us being able to address these situations in a direct and compassionate way. As we and our colleagues, friends, and loved ones feel increasingly comfortable and confident communicating authentically what we are experiencing and where the gaps in trust might be, a natural sense of trust can grow. This will lead to more nourishing relationships, increased ease in making decisions, greater personal growth, more frequent experiences of joy and freedom, more collaboration, and ultimately, a more conducive environment for being able to show up as our real selves.